I'm getting frustrated. Correction: I was getting frustrated. This morning, I'm too tired after my 4.5-mile run to really feel anything other than the lack of energy in my legs.
Why was I getting frustrated? Because I've been asking for something from God. It's not something huge. It's not something outlandish. It's not something that is bad to have.
I've been asking for wisdom. Not exactly wisdom. I've been asking for guidance in ONE area of my life. Do I do this or that? Which is better? Which is God's will? What would God have me do?
As I'm pondering this, I've been seeking wise counsel, getting in the Word, and praying. All good things. But God, why haven't You answered me yet? I just want to do what You want!
God started answering me.....
"Pursue Me," He whispers to me repeatedly.
Never angry, never annoyed by my persistent asking. God just gently told me to pursue Him. That is what He wants.
It's not about what I do for God. When I keep asking that question, the focus is on me. The focus is on me. The focus is on me. The focus is on me.
"Pursue Me."
God wants me to shift my focus from my own actions to Him. Easier said than done. I've been trying. But there it is again. I've been trying. Ick.
Jesus, change my focus. Change my heart. It doesn't matter what I do. You're the only thing that matters.
Love.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
You Make Beautiful Things [Undo me.]
I decided to change my blog. I don't really know why. Yes, I do. Kind of.
I was spending time in the Word [the Truth.] yesterday morning; I was reading second Thessalonians. It's not a long book, but it was SO good to read. So refreshing, so life-giving. Especially after I feel like I've been in a valley for the past month.
This valley was full of doubt, full of sorrow, full of apathy, full of sin, full of idolatry. My heart seems to be quite proficient at finding things to replace God. And I'm so content with it.
But I'm NOT. I don't want that. I want God. I want the freedom He gives me; I want His love; I want His acceptance; I want His patience, kindness, mercy. I want God. Because when you think about it, there's nothing else worth wanting.
He is the only Good, the only Truth, the only Love.
So I'm reading second Thessalonians, and I come across chapter 2, verse 8.
"...Lord Jesus will overthrow with the breath of His mouth and destroy by the splendor of His coming..."
Now, this is referring to "the lawless one". But aren't we all law-breakers?
But what really hit me was Jesus destroying by His splendor. Wouldn't you love to be in that beam of pure [de]light? Yes.
Destroying by splendor. And that's what He does. He comes at us with love, with forgiveness, with grace, with mercy, with every good thing. And He says, "You are worthy because I am worthy. And you are Mine." Though He's probably far more eloquent than that. Because He's Jesus.
He's come to you just as you are. In your clothes and flesh both stained with sin. Your heart so twisted that you think you're just fine, that you're a good person. You're soul so thirsty for Jesus ["Jesus answered her, 'If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked Him and He would have given you living water.' 'Sir,' the woman said, 'you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water?'" - John 4:10-11] that it's delusioned into thinking that drinking from some broken cistern is what you were made for.
Jesus takes your hand, He hold your heart, and gently [ever so gently] removes these impurities. He loves them out of you. You - not the real you, by any means; the you that has been lied to; the you that has believed and acted upon these lies; the you that exists only because the original you has been marred - are destroyed by His splendor.
And He erects the you which was made in His image. The you that He knew before you took your first breath. The you that is free from the chains that once bound you.
Destroyed by splendor. There's nothing else I'd rather have.
Love.
I was spending time in the Word [the Truth.] yesterday morning; I was reading second Thessalonians. It's not a long book, but it was SO good to read. So refreshing, so life-giving. Especially after I feel like I've been in a valley for the past month.
This valley was full of doubt, full of sorrow, full of apathy, full of sin, full of idolatry. My heart seems to be quite proficient at finding things to replace God. And I'm so content with it.
But I'm NOT. I don't want that. I want God. I want the freedom He gives me; I want His love; I want His acceptance; I want His patience, kindness, mercy. I want God. Because when you think about it, there's nothing else worth wanting.
He is the only Good, the only Truth, the only Love.
So I'm reading second Thessalonians, and I come across chapter 2, verse 8.
"...Lord Jesus will overthrow with the breath of His mouth and destroy by the splendor of His coming..."
Now, this is referring to "the lawless one". But aren't we all law-breakers?
But what really hit me was Jesus destroying by His splendor. Wouldn't you love to be in that beam of pure [de]light? Yes.
Destroying by splendor. And that's what He does. He comes at us with love, with forgiveness, with grace, with mercy, with every good thing. And He says, "You are worthy because I am worthy. And you are Mine." Though He's probably far more eloquent than that. Because He's Jesus.
He's come to you just as you are. In your clothes and flesh both stained with sin. Your heart so twisted that you think you're just fine, that you're a good person. You're soul so thirsty for Jesus ["Jesus answered her, 'If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked Him and He would have given you living water.' 'Sir,' the woman said, 'you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water?'" - John 4:10-11] that it's delusioned into thinking that drinking from some broken cistern is what you were made for.
Jesus takes your hand, He hold your heart, and gently [ever so gently] removes these impurities. He loves them out of you. You - not the real you, by any means; the you that has been lied to; the you that has believed and acted upon these lies; the you that exists only because the original you has been marred - are destroyed by His splendor.
And He erects the you which was made in His image. The you that He knew before you took your first breath. The you that is free from the chains that once bound you.
Destroyed by splendor. There's nothing else I'd rather have.
Love.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Blurry. [That I could gaze upon Your beauty, O Lord.]
I'm a sinner in desperate need of a savior.
Jesus.
Jesus.
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